Well, we got a new puppy.
So now I'm up to my ears in all different kinds of excrement. Yum!
Last night, after cleaning my boys' room and getting them in bed, I went to shut the closet door. I was finishing up a few things so I could plop in the tub and read Eclipse for the 4th time. Anyway, I stepped in something squishy and warm, and no, it wasn't pee.
I screamed for my husband and hopped one-footed to the bathroom so I could get it off. If you've never witnessed a 250 pound half-naked woman hopping down a hallway then hallelujah, because I fear both my husband and dog are scarred for life.
I probably registered a 7.0 on the Richter Scale.
After picking my son up from school today he told me about all of the other children beating him up. He's been known to elaborate quite a bit, but I let him continue. He said "All of the girls and three boys beat me up. This is where they beated me up" and showed me his thumb. I said "Well, I guess we need to amputate it." He said "Yeah, and I need an aquamarine 'inja suit so I can heeeeeeya them."
I tell you, he would've done Chuck Norris proud. My son's first roundhouse kick and no one saw it.
A few weeks ago we were eating dinner and he refused to go to the bathroom by himself. "What if a purple mustached man grabs me?" My husband felt compelled to say "What's that over there?!" My son went under the table and refused to come out. I told him we were going to Nana's the next day and he said "Can't go, Mom. I had a stroke."
Next thing I know he'll probably say he has Alzheimer's or cervical cancer.
No comments:
Post a Comment